Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Read this, you must.

So my sister Amy has recently started blogging and I find her hilarious so everybody read her blog. Read Amy's Random Ramblings

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


So, for the Super Bowl party at Chris' the other day I made homemade pizza, Including the crust. But I must admit that I used bottle sauce. So I decided this time to make the sauce myself. So here are some pictures. Yahoo!

Oh man! This was some good pizza. I am still looking for something that will make this crust amazing. Any ideas?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

I just wet my pants this is so funny!

So my sister-in-law just posted this on her Facebook and I laughed so hard I had to share it with everyone I knew. I hope you all laugh as hard as I did...

Most of you know that I recently purchased a Tazer. I was searching the internet for some customer feed back on these things and I came upon this story. You have to read this Blog, and I must say, it is such a Man thing to do this to himself!!!! Hilarious!!!

(Okay, I have finally stopped laughing long enough to post this.
This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "Pocket Taser" for their anniversary.)

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.


Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control;

A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad....I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$!% !@*!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-.... that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits, (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantle of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

And yet...again

So Jess and I ate all of the Banana Bread and just had to have some more. So tonight we made 2 more loaves of it. hahaha. Geeks, we are truly geeks.

Half-Baked with the Silver Bullet

So yesterday Jessica and I got this amazing idea to do some baking, totally random I know. Our first idea was to bake some banana nut bread. So I got online and searched for a recipe for the banana nut bread. I found this great recipe on foodtv.com, the Food Network website, anyone who knows me knows my love for the Food Network... wow I just got really distracted with visions of Paula Dean right then. HAHA... Anyways back to the story... But of course anybody who knows me knows I can't stop when I am ahead so I kept searching for other recipes for things I think would be fun to bake. I ended up finding a recipe for Red Velvet Cupcakes. Apparently I watch to much Ace of Cakes, because I see this recipe and I think, "shoot I can do this, these will be the best cupcakes ever!" hahaha I couldnt be more wrong!

We used the KitchenAid my dad got for Christmas, which he lovingly named, The Silver Bullet.

We forgot to take pictures of us making the Banana Bread, but here is one of it in the oven.

The Banana Bread turned out so good! it was amazing!

The batter for our Red Velvet Cupcakes, So pretty. Oh just wait...

Right out of the Oven, Still looking good.

Even the Frosting job looked good. But, my friends, I must say these were some of the worst cupcakes I have ever had. Sadly I am no Ace of Cake. But at least they are pretty.;)

Thursday, January 22, 2009


So I know nobody really ever reads this but, for those who may I am currently trying to redo this blog and get it all ready for regular blogs. I very very much suck when it comes to thing that involve the computer, so it may just take a while. But I very much look forward to writing on this blog once or twice a week, including adding pics of my life to share with those of you who might want to read this.